Love moves in mysterious ways, whispering through the depths of our unconscious mind. It intertwines with unresolved emotions and hidden memories, flowing quietly through the fabric of our being. Like an unseen thread, it connects us to the past, shapes our present, and gently guides us toward the future.
Some expressions of love, though powerful, are silent, operating beneath the surface of our conscious awareness. They shape our perceptions, influence our choices, and contribute to the complex tapestry of our emotional landscape. Exploring these unconscious expressions of love offers a deeper understanding of our connections, inviting us to navigate the hidden realms of our emotions with compassion and curiosity.
One such expression is the covert bond. This unspoken, invisible connection binds us to our family’s narrative, values, and patterns. It manifests through unconscious loyalty, guiding us toward paths and choices that mirror those of our ancestors. This often happens in surprising ways—sometimes we find ourselves embracing aspects we once rejected or resenting traits we swore never to adopt. We may unknowingly recreate situations we vowed to avoid, caught in a cycle of repetition.
A common scenario often seen in coaching involves individuals who, like many of us, grow up with a clear idea of what they want to avoid. Take, for example, a young woman who grew up watching her mother always prioritize others’ needs over her own. As a teenager, she vowed not to follow that same path. She wanted to prioritize her own dreams and avoid losing herself in the process.
Years later, in her first serious relationship, something subtle begins to happen. Without realizing it, she starts taking on more and more responsibilities, placing her partner’s needs above her own.
This is a covert bond in action—an unconscious loyalty to her family’s story. Despite her conscious desire to break free from the pattern, her invisible connection to her mother’s values and choices quietly shapes her actions and decisions.
At times, this unconscious loyalty feels like an unwelcome inheritance—a legacy passed down without our consent. We may wonder why we echo the struggles, relationships, or failures of our family members. This isn’t a deliberate attempt at self-sabotage, but rather an expression of love. The desire to belong and uphold the family narrative often takes precedence over personal success. Unconsciously, we may choose paths that mirror our ancestors’ struggles, believing it to be a testament to our loyalty rather than a barrier to our growth.
Understanding the covert bond is the first step toward breaking free from its subtle influence. It requires courageous exploration of our choices, beliefs, and patterns, recognizing their roots in our family of origin. Unraveling these unconscious loyalties allows us to reclaim our autonomy and make choices that align with our authentic selves.
May you be blessed with courage as you embrace your unconscious loyalties and may wisdom guide you to consciously express love.
Happiness & Healing,
Dhara Purohit John
P.S. Unveiling a covert bond is like uncovering layers of a complex puzzle hidden in the depths of the subconscious. These bonds are elusive, wrapped in emotions and entanglements, making them challenging to bring into conscious awareness.
With my expertise in Family Constellation, I can guide you through the process of uncovering these hidden dynamics. By shedding light on these covert bonds, we can clear the path for the success you seek while strengthening the love within your family of origin.
Right now, I’m offering a 12-week 1:1 coaching container. If you’re ready to explore this opportunity, reply to this message or DM me on Instagram @dharapurohitjohn for more details and to enroll.
